He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
