If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This is my gift to your gina
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
