what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
do nipples grow back?
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