hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to walk on stilts...naked
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
