Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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