Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
