i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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