It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
