Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize