So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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