Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can tuck mytits in my pants
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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