Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
