You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
