Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
