And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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