Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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