everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
