whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How does one acquire holy water?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize