how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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