hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
