What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
