i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
