I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
