real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
