ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
