So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
