In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
