Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.

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(314): View more from Missouri

i wish starbucks made bloody marys

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(850): View more from Florida

I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it

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(317): View more from Indiana

The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.

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(260): View more from Indiana

One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza

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(815): View more from Illinois

You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.

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