I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
