well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize