PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He felt like a one man threesome
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
