Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
