we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
