Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
