Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
