They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
