So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize