dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
