i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize