just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
