omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
