id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
