if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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