I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
what is it with giant penises always finding me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
