you guys were way drunker than both of me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm too high and old for this...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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