It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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