he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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