You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
