I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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