Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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