she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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