I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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