This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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