How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
