What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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