yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
