Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
