last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
send nudes
from the living room?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize