Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
