I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
